Is there an award for most pathetic title?  If so, I should win.

Moving just plain sucks, and it doesn’t strengthen anything but your biceps and your time-management skills.

The Scottish and I recently moved from Chicago (aka The City) to Overland Park for his job and to make life a little easier and a little cheaper.  It’s smart for the time being but our ultimate goal is to be living in Minnesota near family.  Being that it’s a temporary move we didn’t want to bring A) everything we own and B) buy new/quality furniture.  Thus, there were even more decisions than a “normal” move because we couldn’t get too settled.  As much as we love barbecue.

Both of us are infatuated with The City and it was hard to leave for a myriad of reasons (the main one being that feeling of abandoning my nanny kids), so moving across a few states on top of all that made everything worse.  While my emotions ranged from sad to angry to giddy to anxiety-ridden, I remained grateful to have such a supportive husband along for the ride.

2 weeks out: The Mother, The Father, The Sister, and The Glue arrive in Chicago to help pack and then haul half of your crap back to Minnesota with them.

the bean

Being off work means all decisions regarding “Is this piece of junk going to KC or MN?” is made by you.  Resent husband for not being around to help with these decisions.  Be grateful husband has great job and forget resentment.

1 week out: Confirm truck rental for drive to Kansas City with husband at the U-Haul Fortress.  Argue with husband over packing materials he wants to purchase such as blankets, tape, and this green wrapping stuff. Give in and then pout when the total is over 100 dollars.  Because that money could have been spent on lattes!

6 days out: Say goodbye to everyone at church; say goodbye to friends at an informal party at the bar.  Feel excited to begin this new adventure with someone you love.  Hold hands walking home from the bar and marvel at the awesome people you know.

4 days out: Have a devastating cry about upcoming move and leaving the kids you’ve come to love through your job as a nanny for the past six years.  Weep on your bed sitting next to husband while he just listens and then tells you  it will be OK and the time is right.  They are big now.  Look at him and feel happiness knowing the next step is having children with this man.

3 days out: Pack all the clothing from the closet after two nights of doing nothing (WHY!?!?).  Feel overwhelmed and take annoyance out on each other with snide remarks and loud sighs.

2 days out: Husband takes apart bed while you pack what’s left of the kitchen. Begin the arduous process of wrapping one couch and the dresser drawers.  Exclaim loudly that NOTHING BETTER BREAK WITH ALL THIS WRAPPING WE (YOU) ARE DOING!

Sleep on a seemingly quality air mattress until about 3 AM at which time you drag your butt to the couch.  Wake up to find husband on the floor in center of air mattress as it’s almost completely deflated.  Laugh together at the ridiculousness of it all, count down the days until you’re in a real bed again, and complain about lack of sleep.

1 day out: Say goodbye to nanny family on last day of work over a nice dinner.  Feel every emotion possible and cry in public while reading their cards.


Go home completely drained to finish cleaning the bathrooms while husband takes apart the media center.  Wrap larger couch, wrap side tables, wrap, jewelry boxes, and anything else that can be wrapped!  Start to see the usefulness in wrapping.  Make apology to husband.

MOVING DAY: Wake up later than you wanted but note you are right on schedule.  Find you are filled with tons of excitement because moving day has finally arrived!  Good mood continues as friends arrive to help load the truck.

Enjoy watching husband play tetris with your crap in said truck.  Buy lunch for everyone at Wendy’s, walk home for the last time in your beloved neighborhood.  Take photos in front of the truck.  Kiss each other goodbye (you’re driving the Kia, he’s driving the U-Haul).

moving truck

Stop every 3 hours for gas and food and stretching of legs.  Arrive at new apartment home around 11 PM (you left at 12:20 PM).  Realize it’s just perfect.  Modern, clean, cozy, and yours.

1 day past: Movers arrive to unload your crap.  The only casualty is a few scrapes on a dresser.  Everything else is in great condition.  Commend husband for his diligence and eat your words about packing materials.


Return truck.  Eat out at new Mexican place near house.  Husband will admit he got a bit emotional leaving The City and explains how he was thinking  during the long drive about how he’s sad to leave but excited for a new adventure and there’s no one else he’d want along for the ride besides you.  Your heart melts.

You tell husband you spent most of the drive talking to your friends on the car phone bragging about his packing skills.

Sleep in your bed again, finally!  Feel homesick.  Hold each other close.

2 days past: Unpack boxes.

3 days past: Unpack more boxes.  Search the Kansas City area for cheap but acceptable TV stand but have no luck finding one.

4 days past: Have big fight over the damn TV stand.  Realize you’re just tired of the hell that is moving and you just want everything in it’s place but there is no place for the TV!

5 days past:  Enjoy each other’s company.  Ignore TV stand issue.  It will get worked out eventually.

10 days past: TV stand has been purchased, along with two tall bookshelves.  Everything has been put together.  House is clean and in order.  Pictures have been hung and your place is now a home.


Feel happiness thinking of all the memories you will make here.  Look forward.

face collage

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8 Responses to “How Moving Strengthened My Marriage”

  1. Allie

    Aw, this is a cute story, even if it was frustrating at times! For me, unpacking is infinitely more frustrating than packing up, because I just want everything to be in its place immediately and I hate not knowing where all my stuff is!

  2. TaraPants

    I moved almost a year ago for my relationship. We were long distance, and it literally broke my heart every time we had to leave each other. It’s been amazing, and I know it’s made us stronger as a couple.

    However, the hard part for me has been making friends in my current city. There is only one person I work with who is female and close to my age, we are office mates, so we spend enough time together. Any advice on making new friends in a new city? I’m out going, and fun, but it’s just not happening for me. I’ve tried volunteer work, taking zumba classes, etc.

    PS I’m feeling like such a blog stalker, I followed your bee posts, and now I’m here! 🙂

    • Stephanie

      Long distance is so tough, so yay for being together! You are already doing better at making friends than me! I’m not working right now but I do try to meet other doggie parents by taking McKenna to dog parks, and we’re also looking at churches in the area. My husband has friends through work and we have done a double date but I’m actually using this time to focus on being with the hubby and maintaining my long distance friendships (of which I have a lot). Thank goodness for Skype. PS Stalk away! Thanks for reading! 🙂

  3. Christiane

    Moving is tough ! I will be moving soon too in November from Baltimore, MD to Potsdam, NY . I feel like i am going to go through the same roller-coaster of emotions you went through.

      • Rob

        Moving absolutely helped strengthen mine. When you leave ‘the nest area’ which has all those relatives around, all of a sudden it becomes just you and your spouse. No one around can choose sides. You have to work things out together. 🙂 Speaking now from 36 years (so far) of marriage experience, we found it very important to make sure we had date nights in our new locations. So you might need to find dependable child care (when you have children). Essentially, if you can always find time for each other, you have a much better than average shot of beating those damn statistics. We are…..

        Good Luck!


        • Stephanie

          Congrats on your 36 years! Thanks for the tips! So far we are really enjoying our time as newlyweds and get have lots of quality date nights!


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