Happy Monday everybody! Hope you had a lovely weekend! Mine was great for the most part but I did have something pretty dramatic happen to me. Naturally I couldn’t wait to share it with all of you!
I had an audition earlier this week for a theater company in the Kansas City area that shall remain nameless. I was really pumped about it. I haven’t been on stage for quite a while and I was excited to finally have the time and energy for a new production. Since my current position of housewife/doggie mom/blogger leaves me with a bit more time these days, I was looking forward to dabbling in the KC theatre scene after we moved here. When this audition caught my eye I secured a copy of the script, practiced my English dialect, and worked on the lead female character that matched my age range.
Cut to the audition where turnout is dismal and I’m feeling overqualified for lack of a better word. We are asked to attend both nights and I got to read for the lead role multiple times. I’m feeling good and reading well which is why I am confused when the director keeps asking me to read for a smaller, not as interesting role.
I end up listening to my instincts and tell him both nights as politely as possible, “No thank you.” I’m not expecting everyone to understand my reasoning but I’m at a place in my artistic journey where I want to audition for roles that excite me and make sense for my life. Plus, we have one car right now, and this theatre company is almost 40 minutes away, so it had to be something worth my time and gas money. It’s not like it was a paid gig, which is common in community theatre, but worth noting nonetheless.
Anyway, at the end of the two days I knew I had a good shot at the role I wanted, yay! The director had ended the second night by saying he had a couple more people to read but he would call us this weekend.
I can’t even believe this is my life.
This is a reenactment of our phone call. Most of it is completely true although some liberties were taken.
Ring, ring, ring. I answer. Pleasantries are exchanged between myself and the director.
Director: “Are you sure you don’t want that other smaller, less meaty role?”
In my head: Welp, guess I’m not getting the lead female role. That sucks.
Me: “Ohhh. So does that mean you have someone else in mind for the role I’m interested in?”
Director: “Well, yes. You see I’m casting Large Gay Black Man as your husband and you two just don’t fit together. You’d overpower him.”
In my head: Overpower him? He’s twice my size! Overpower him with good acting maybe!
Me: “I see. So it has nothing to do with my acting ability?”
Director: “Oh no, you’re great, you took direction, blah blah blah. You just wouldn’t make a great wife to Large Gay Black Man. I have someone who can look like they’re married to him better than you can.”
In my head: Is it a man?
Me: “Do you have an African-American woman to play the role?”
Director: “Y-y-yes, she can give me something you can’t… race. They will be more compatible and other BS unrelated to actual acting skills.”
In my head: Well, if that’s ALL you need. Never mind talent then.
Director: “It’s just that I’m limited on males and there are X amount of roles to fill.”
In my head: So because there are a lack of quality male actors auditioning I have to be punished?
More pointless statements from him. More moments of me shaking my head with silent rage while remaining polite.
Me: “OK, well thank you for the opportunity and good luck on your show.”
The Scottish and The Mother think I’ve dodged a bullet. Amen to that.
Have you had one of those moments recently where you ask yourself if this is really happening right now!?!? Do share.