I love my little sister but we had a tumultuous relationship growing up to say the least. Our brother, The Glue, used to threaten to run away from home each time the fighting got really bad. Co-existing (especially through puberty) was never easy for us. We knew how to push each other’s buttons, we could rarely get past our own insecurities to understand one another, and well, we had to share EVERYTHING.
- We lived really close to both our elementary and middle schools and walking home from school together, I used to exclusively talk about myself and my life, unintentionally of course. The Sister got used to my blabbering on and on but never chimed in or tried to get me to shut up. Years of listening to me drone on and on can break even the strongest willed person.
- What’s hers is mine and vice versa, or so I thought. I assumed having a sister roughly the same size as you meant double the closet! She didn’t feel the same way. I would ask to borrow her clothes often and she HATED it. I tried to cajole her into trading items with me by using the splendors of my wardrobe but she was never interested.
- I got to drive first AND go to college first, a simple numbers game. I turned 16 and 18 a year and a half before she did. Nevertheless it was hard for her to go second all the time when she was so close to the same big life changes.
- I borrowed money from my parents for some of my student loan debt (out-of-state tuition is the devil). It’s not that she was upset that they helped me out but maybe that I was so willing to take their help in the first place? The Sister is a very helpful and caring person but is less inclined to take the same treatment back. I, on the other hand, will gratefully take support from others if it means making my dreams come true. The only way I could afford to live in Chicago right after college was to take some financial support from my parents because my loan payments were higher than my rent (think 800 dollars a month and die a little inside, I know I did). I plan on paying them back by renovating their kitchen one day. Baby steps.
- I’ve always made friends easier than The Sister even though she’s the nicer, sweeter person of the two of us. After years of sharing cousins and friends I was able to form my own solid friendships right away and it just took her awhile longer.
Of course The Sister doesn’t really hold a heavy grudge about all of these things but subconsciously they can still affect our relationship. (I don’t really have my own list because holding things back has never been my strong suit.) I made this list to be humorous but also to establish how much we’ve grown since childhood.
The Sister is someone I respect and love more than I can put into words. And while I’m allowed to make fun of her as frequently as I’d like the second someone else tries to agree with me I become like a karate master and judo chop their words before they can clear the air. Hells no, that’s not happening.
No one can make you angry like your sister but at the same time it’s hard to love and admire someone as much as you love and admire your sister. It rarely makes sense to those on the outside but a bond that has been alive for nearly three decades is going to have its highs and lows. Chronicling our relationship could be its own emotional memoir, one I would definitely be up for writing someday.
All those years of fighting, all those devastating disagreements, all those tears shed, have not ruined or stunted us. They were merely a painful growth spurt that laid the foundation for the friendship and understanding we have today. I have a feeling the newest (and best) level of our relationship has just begun.
Does anyone else have a sister and can relate to this? Who loves identical twin sisters Tia and Tamara? (Bless you. I do too.)