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Well, it’s about to controversial up in here.  One might even say dramatic.

Full disclosure, I’m totally intrigued about this concept of a sister wife.  Before I get my first piece of hate email, let me explain.  My interest was peaked after I first saw TLC’s show Sister Wives and fell in love with their family.  I’ve also read a popular novel about a woman escaping a very unhealthy polygamist situation, and I recognize that there are tons of negative accounts of polygamist situations, but watching a reality show about a man with multiple wives has been really eye-opening for me.  Granted, I don’t have any interest in the concept of polygamy and I have a hard time wrapping my head around a man marrying more than one woman but as long as everyone is of age and consenting, who am I to judge?  Nothing is ALL bad and I can see the benefits in their lifestyle.

Speaking of judging, I am SO over everyone hating on celebrity and reality relationships.  Am I the only person who doesn’t immediately strike a negative and aghast face when someone mentions the name Kardashian?  SO WHAT, she’s crazy and had the world’s shortest marriage and named her baby North and makes money because she has a nice ass, but none of those things make me loathe her.  SO WHAT, Anna Nicole Smith was a gold-digger, Tiger Woods is a womanizer, Rhianna went back to Chris Brown, and Prince William refuses to wear a wedding ring!!  The Duggars won’t stop having children!  O.M.G!  What has the world come to?!?

Seriously though, how is becoming all hateful going to teach that person a lesson?  You don’t know them and frankly, I don’t want someone judging my life that intensely so I try not to do the same.

Polygamists are faith-based and simply have different religious beliefs than I do.  Bottom line.  In regards to the argument that all Kody Brown (of TLC’s Sister Wives) wants is to do is have sex with multiple women is a load of crap.  Have you seen the show?!?!  Plus, what is this, 1945?  Couples are equal partners and many times it’s the woman that is the head of household.  Why would anyone want more than one woman in charge of their home?  You could promise my husband all the sex in the world but he would still go running for the hills if you told him he had to live with another person like me telling him what to do, cutting into his free time, talking non-stop, getting emotional around the same time each month, and generally crying for no reason.

I digress, but my point is that a sister wife sounds like a blessing in disguise.  Women raising their children together, supporting each other through personal and professional crisis’, lifting each other up in times of joy, and spending birthdays and holidays together doesn’t sound too bad.  All their children grow up being loved by many parents/care-givers.  Their family experiences are broader and their range of love is expanded.  Their tolerance of sharing and learning to communicate must grow with each additional sibling.

Lucky for me I already have someone in my life who can fill my sister wife void.  It just so happens she is already my sister and she’s somebody’s wife so I think she’ll do.

Wedding planning trip in Feb- final 014

The Sister and I may have fought through most of our youth but these days we’re closer than ever and after getting married three months apart (craziness), we’re almost ready to start the next chapter of our lives.  Growing our families!

selfie pose with names

She can even do my signature Stephanie selfie pose!  Which is key for raising children with good self-esteem.

The Scottish and I plan to move to Minnesota to raise a family in a suburb of the Twin Cities, (where my parents, my sister and her husband, and my brother all currently reside), and one of the main reasons is so they can grow up near their cousins.  I have tons of great memories of visiting my cousins growing up, and that is priceless to me.  Unfortunately, we still had to travel hours by car to be near our extended family.  I’m hoping that The Sister’s kids and my kid’s will grow up as cousins and close friends.  I look forward to shared holidays, birthday parties, sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, and having a place to drop them off when The Scottish and I need a date night.

I know our situation is nothing like a real sister wife but I think there’s something to be said about raising your children in a community of loving family members.  I know some people don’t have the same relationship with their family as I do or perhaps they do best living abroad or on their own away from their siblings and parents, but this is what I’m excited about.  I love being a wife, a sister, and a daughter, and I can’t wait to be a mom.

To my female readers, consider the women in your life, do you have someone who could be your sister wife?  Go tell them now, or on second thought, perhaps keep that nugget to yourself… and just tell me in the comments.  🙂

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13 Responses to “What’s So Bad About Wanting a Sister Wife?”

  1. Stephanie

    Probably my best friend, though we’re more like you and your sister, wanting our (eventual) kids to grow up near each other and be friends.

    I finished watching the HBO series “Big Love” just a few weeks ago, so it’s funny that you’re posting about this. If you haven’t seen it, you should definitely check it out! Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin are amazing. You’ll really love the relationship and camaraderie between the three wives. Plus Amanda Seyfried plays the oldest daughter.

    I never watched Sister Wives or anything polygamy-related before watching BL, but I’ve read that the BL writers did polygamy justice. You could tell they never aimed to be overtly judgmental about the families on the show; you could just make up your own decisions based on what was going on.

    I also knew very little about Mormonism before watching, so occasionally we’d pause to look things up (like the history of Joesph Smith. Nutty.). My fiance’s aunt had converted to Mormonism when she was a teenager, so it also interesting to hear his point of view of what he saw from her family when he was growing up vs. what we saw in the show. I still think it’s a bit wacky of a religion, but I always enjoy learning, so that was a nice added bonus.

    Anyway, didn’t mean for that to become one long ad for Big Love, haha, but I was surprised by how much I ended up liking the show (and now I’m sad I watched all 4 seasons in only 2 months), and it sounds like you probably would enjoy it, too.

    Reply
    • Stephanie

      haha, thanks for the review! It’s one of those shows I keep meaning to watch and then forget about, but I’m so pumped to start it! I’ve known a few LDS people over the years, and it is a very interesting religion. I love learning about other religions! And yay for your best friend being a sister wife, LOVE IT.

      Reply
  2. Allie

    I haven’t watched Sister Wives, though I’m usually fascinated by other people’s realities. But I would never want to have a sister wife! Have you watched Big Love? That was a GREAT show (scripted series about a polygamist politician).

    Reply
  3. Jenn

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but I’m not sure I’d want one. It’s tough enough to manage one partner, family by committee wouldn’t be my cup of tea (and I say that having been in a polyamorous relationship in the past). But I totally hear you about a built-in community support network.

    I’m fascinated by Sister Wives the show, and plenty of other reality families. I think Kim K worked her considerable assets off to build something out of a questionable 15 minutes of fame, and at least the Duggars can afford to care for all the children they have. Watching reality tv, to me, is no different than getting a peek into someone else’s life by reading their blog 😉 Socially accepted voyeurism.

    Reply
    • Stephanie

      It’s great to read your opinion since you have a bit of experience in a polyamorous relationship, thanks for the insight! And you’re so right about, reality TV is kind of like reading their blog! It’s all edited anyway. My current favorite reality family to observe, TLC’s The Little Couple! haha, I’m very predictable.

      Reply
  4. TaraPants

    I love Sister Wives. It’s fascinating to me. No judgement from this girl.

    We joke that my fiance and our mutual male best friend will be my Brother Husbands!

    Growing up around my family made me the person I am. Between my sister and I are a set of twin female cousins, we all grew up so very close. I’m glad others see the importance of kids being raised together with others in the family. It takes a village right?

    Reply
      • Jenn

        A friend of mine (Q) has a similar set-up. When she and her husband bought a house last year, her brother-in-law (who was usually around anyway) and his son moved in with them. Turned out to be a great thing as Q’s husband started travelling for work several weeks at a time, so BiL was able to step-up and help Q with her own young son, dinners, housework, etc. And when Q’s husband got a job opp 4 states away? BiL moved right along with them!

        Reply
  5. Christiane

    Have you watched Our America series with Lisa Ling? She did one episode about polygamy and was able to interview a polygamist community in Utah. Though i understand the concept of having extra pair of hands to help with childrearing and household chores and such (i live with my sister so i help with everything i.e. picking up my niece from preschool to cooking meals for the week and cleaning house), i think it gets messy when you have to share your husband physically with others. That is what makes it definitely not attractive.

    Reply

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