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No one has asked us if we wanted to get pregnant or if it was a surprise (thankfully) because I guess I haven’t been very quiet about my desire to start a family, both in person and on the blog.   Another question that’s considered rude to ask is, “How long did it take you to conceive?”  But it’s not rude if I just come out and tell you!  And of course I’ll tell you guys because I’m a chronic over-sharer and it doesn’t make me uncomfortable.  I don’t believe fertility should be a taboo topic, but obviously not everyone wants to talk about their personal experiences, especially if they might be struggling with infertility, and I definitely respect that.

Everyone has a different TTC (trying to conceive) story, here’s ours.

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It took The Scottish and I three cycles to get pregnant.  One we weren’t really trying, two we were.  The second one worked.  But in those weeks of not getting pregnant and seeing multiple negative tests, I didn’t feel so great, in fact, I was pretty upset.  I can’t compare myself to someone who has struggled with infertility or someone who took a long time to get pregnant but I can tell you that once you’re determined to get pregnant, a month can feel like eternity and it’s hard to focus on anything else.

I found out I was a crazy person while I was TTC.  I know, it’s SHOCKING, right?  🙂  Well, I decided the best way for me to deal with TTC was to laugh more and just focus on charting my cycles and being with my husband.

This post might be a bit alienating to some of you because you might not be interested in having children, some of you might have had your children long ago, and some of you might be dudes who don’t have the joy of menstruating (but that doesn’t mean you can’t have TTC frustrations too), but for those of you that are TTC or will be TTC soon or have in the past, you will get this and I hope it will make you chuckle at least once.

You Know You’re TTC When…

When someone tells you they accidentally got pregnant and they weren’t even trying and you have to stifle an urge to punch them in the face and cry.

Every time you have an alcoholic beverage, sushi, soft cheese, or cheap deli meat you think of it as your last supper.

Going to the bathroom takes a lot longer these days because all you do is pee on sticks (both ovulation and pregnancy) and then stare at them like it’s a fifth grade science experiment.

There is nothing sexy about sex anymore.  When your chart pinpoints ovulation you tell your husband it’s time to “baby dance” and he just looks at you funny.

When someone asks you to make future plans you tell them you have to check your calendar, and you do, your ovulation calendar.

Every single sharp pain or bout of nausea you feel convinces you that you’re pregnant.  But usually it’s just gas and over-eating.

The best part of your day is waking up to take your temperature for your chart.  High temps mean ovulation has occurred!

The worst part of your day is waking up to take your temperature. Low temps mean your period is coming!  NOOOO!

When you’re having a particularly bad day you walk around cursing birth control and all those years of “smart” preventing.

When you get together with fellow TTC friend all you do is talk about your fertile week and cervical mucus.  And most of the time you’re in public.

At one day past ovulation you start hitting and poking your boobs randomly to see if they hurt, and they do, but because you keep prodding them.

If one more person tells you “to relax and you’ll just get pregnant” you’ll probably end up in jail.

Did anyone else go crazy while TTC or anticipate they’ll be just as crazy?  What would you add to this list?  It’s a wild ride that’s for sure!

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12 Responses to “You Know You’re TTC When…”

  1. Erin W.

    This is so hilarious, and completely “dead on balls accurate” (as Mona Lisa Vito would say in “My Cousin Vinny”). As someone who has been TTC for a long time, I go through at least one of these every day. I was laughing so hard, especially at this one: “If one more person tells you “to relax and you’ll just get pregnant” you’ll probably end up in jail.” Thanks for the laughs, girl!

    Reply
    • Stephanie

      Oh I’m so glad it made you laugh, its such a personal thing but sometimes it feels good to just list all the obnoxiously funny things about it. Thanks for the comment friendy friend!

      Reply
  2. Kelly G

    This literally made me LOL. NOT trying to advertise it but DH and I are TTC. But like you said, we haven’t really been ‘trying’ so I haven’t gotten my hopes up yet. I loved your comment about the boobs and nausea! so true

    Reply
  3. Christiane

    LOL i read your list and it gave me memories…! I would add “You know that you are TTC when you look at kids and you either want to cry or run away because you feel overwhelmed and can’t wait to have yours already !”

    Reply
  4. Danielle

    This is spot on. My husband and I have been TTCing for 5 months now and we are on cycle #2 of really amping it up (ovulation kits, preseed, herbs and acupuncture). This really hit home and I can say I too have been going too crazy during the TTCing. Poor husband of mine. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
    • Stephanie

      Thanks for sharing your journey as well. I LOVE preseed. And I’ve heard great things about acupuncture for TTC. Fingers crossed for you girl! 🙂

      Reply

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