I’ve thought a lot recently about how great it is to be a woman.  Being pregnant has me so in awe of what my body can do and I am constantly reminded of what a gift it is to be pregnant.  (For the record, men are amazing creatures too, but for today I want to talk about women.)

This day in age it feels like anything a woman does simultaneously defines her womanhood while telling the world just how much of a feminist she really is.  For some reason, it’s not enough to just push for equality and respect in all things, everything we wear, everything we say, everything we do is crucial to this battle of the sexes.  But I don’t believe feminism is based on such a judgement scale.  It’s way of being, and frankly, I’m sick of the competition.

Why does changing my name equate to becoming my husband’s property?  Why can’t it mean that I’m so confident in my identity that I realize that it doesn’t matter what I am called on paper?  Why can’t it mean that I like tradition and just want a shared last name?

The fact that women (here comes a gross generalization) can’t lift ridiculously heavy items doesn’t mean we’re the weaker sex.  It means our vessels were meant for something different.  Women bleed once a month, grow human beings in the bodies, and nurture them with milk.  How is that weak!?!? To be completely honest, I’ve never felt more proud of my body than since becoming pregnant.  Side note: I don’t want to ignore those who struggle with infertility, women who choose not to have children, or women who utilize adoption or surrogacy, because everything about them is powerful too. In fact, I probably admire them more.  Whatever your path, it’s beautiful.

Similarly, being a mother or a career woman or both or neither for crying out loud shouldn’t matter to anyone else but your immediate family.  But whether you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom conveys a message to the world.  And you can’t win because both sides get slammed equally but for different reasons.

Then there’s all of those expensive products (hair, makeup, skin, cute undergarments, etc.) that women use to make themselves more beautiful.  Some get angry at men for not having the same societal pressures and refuse to do certain things on principle.  Well, I don’t sit around and wonder why society decided women should be the fairer sex and look a certain way.  I don’t feel like shaving my legs and wearing makeup makes me a bad feminist.  It makes me a feminist that wears makeup and shaves her legs because she likes the way she looks and feels when she does those things.  That’s it.  It doesn’t make me more of a woman than someone who chooses not to do those things, or less of a person because I DO choose to do those things.

If you are telling someone HOW to be a feminist or shaming them into thinking they aren’t doing enough good for womankind, you are no better than those that degrade women or treat them as less than.

To summarize, I love this body of curves and fat, I enjoy putting on makeup and wearing cute clothes, I really appreciate having the door held open for me, taking my husband’s last name was an honor, and being pregnant is one of the best things to happen to me.  As a woman and mostly as a human I see everyone as my equal regardless of their race, sex, life condition, sexual orientation, or economic status.  What I do speaks for me, and does not represent every woman.

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