Full disclosure, I’ve been both avoiding writing this post and sharing it. Maybe it’s because I find the topic incredibly personal or over-indulgent. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel I can offer anything new on the subject. Maybe it’s because I think no one will care. Regardless, one of the reasons I write this blog is to have memories to look back on that would otherwise be forgotten. So here it is.
Natural Birth. Non-medicated Birth or whatever you want to call it. This is how I feel about it at this moment in time. I’m curious and I’m intrigued.
I just want to try it. I don’t normally do anything physically adventurous without being persuaded into it first. I don’t run marathons or climb mountains or even go on bike rides voluntarily. I avoid roller coasters and water skiing and snow boarding at all costs. I’m probably not the most physically fit woman to attempt a vaginal natural birth but I’m willing to try it and attempting to walk a ton and stretch frequently in preparation.
Our bodies were made to do this. The Mother delivered all three of her children without an epidural so I know it’s possible in my gene pool! Delivering a child is a gift in my eyes, and something that has no comparison. I want to do it for myself. To prove to myself that I can be extra strong when I need to be. I also feel like putting this out into the universe this means I’ll likely end up with a c-section or an epidural right away, haha.
I know that after the baby comes, it’s not going to matter how he arrived, especially to anyone else. But it might matter to me. I’ve read enough boards and posts on hellobee to know that some birth experiences are very traumatic, some are exhilarating, some are disappointing, and some stay with you for a while no matter what happened.
To set the record straight, I’m not afraid of needles or of getting an epidural, especially after receiving clearance from the back doctor. I’m not worried medication will hurt the baby and I’m not wanting to go natural so I can wear that proverbial “badge of honor” and brag about it. I don’t think that getting an epidural is a bad option, in fact, I’m completely open to it. But I do know that it makes you bed-bound and moving can really alleviate the pain. I’ve also heard it can slow labor which means more meds and more interventions (it can also help with labor too, I’ve heard it goes both ways).
Three things I am really nervous about are (and this is not including anything to do with baby):
1. Getting a catheter put in. Call it irrational, but I want that less than anything in the world!
2. Passing out or puking due to lack of food/water/blood loss. Yuck.
3. Popping the blood vessels in my face during pushing like my mother did. Makes for some scary photos later that day! And we all know I like my selfies.
Aren’t my fears funny? Considering they don’t include c-section, epidural, or tearing?
The reason so many pregnant women worry or obsess or simply ponder their upcoming child’s birth is because it’s so new. It’s a complete unknown, right? I’ve never felt a contraction thus far in my life so my human response is to build it up to be this ultra-scary and painful thing. When you add in what I’ve heard other women say about labor and contractions and pushing, I think perhaps I’m not imagining something scary or painful enough! YIKES.
It’ll be fun to reveal my birth story to you guys so we can all see how close or how different my birth plan follows my current idea of what will happen. At our first baby class this week, Newborns 101 (oh yea The Scottish changed his first diaper), they suggested calling it a birth “wish list” instead of “plan” because life never goes to plan. Well said.
We are scheduled to take a six-week natural birthing course starting in mid-May and I’m super excited about it! I can’t wait to learn some coping techniques and hear some first-hand experiences and stories. Will I end up having a natural vaginal birth? Who knows. My current game plan is to go with the flow and recite this mantra at all times, “The pain is only going to get worse so don’t give up now. The pain is only going to get worse so don’t give up now.” I know, I’m so positive, haha! But hopefully I gain some better coping skills at our class.
What are your thoughts on natural birth? Or how do you cope with the fear of the unknown? Is it usually worse in your head or worse when it happens?