Sorry for the obnoxious title folks, but people get super obnoxious when it comes to talking about women’s rights and what it means to be a feminist. I have no doubt that someone somewhere will misinterpret what I mean and frankly, I don’t care!! Haters gonna hate, and idiots will be idiots. (Is that how it goes Ms. Swift??)
This weekend I had a really nice moment. The kind of reassuring moment that reminds you what is important and makes you feel good about where you are and what you’re doing in your life.
I was standing in my kitchen, baking my famous (so they’re not really famous…YET) chocolate chip cookies. The Scottish and The Father were outside in our front yard mulching leaves, mowing, and picking up sticks. McKenna was giddy as usual running through the backyard. The sun was streaming in through the window, the radio was blasting, and The Wee One was watching me from his rock n’ play. I started dancing and he started giggling. Then The Glue walked in and scooped up The Wee One to give him a big hug (such a good uncle).
Fall, family, food, and fun. It might not sound very exciting to anyone else but I was bursting with joy. My house was bustling, the sun was shining, and I was reminded that these special days are exactly why I moved back to Minnesota. This led me to think, huh, I’m sure happy when the men are outside working and the women are inside cooking/baking. With my extended family on Thanksgiving, the women make most of the meal while the men plan the darts tournament. Then the men stay home and watch football while the women go out shopping on Black Friday. Huh. SO MUCH FOR THOSE FEMINIST ADVANCEMENTS STEPHANIE. Apparently, I want to be barefoot in the kitchen rearing the children and baking cookies. I felt awful. For two seconds.
Because why can’t I prefer the indoors (and hate all types of yard work and play)? So what if I end up doing the majority of childcare for The Wee One? Who cares if I like preparing food for Thanksgiving? Why is that so bad?
There is nothing wrong with enjoying a few gender stereotypes as long as you’re happy. No one forces me to be a stay at home mom, it’s my choice. I get angry when people make feminism about redefining EVERY single traditional female role when instead it should be about equality and women doing what they want. Men have been doing what they want since the beginning of time, we’re just trying to even the playing field.
The problem is not that I prefer to be a housewife, it’s that as a woman, I’m still apologizing for my choices. I shouldn’t be apologizing for doing what makes me happy. Society might not have a problem with me not working but I better be sorry for not contributing financially to my family when so many women before me fought for the right to be treated equal in the workplace. That’s absurd.
Women and men need to forget about gender stereotypes and follow their own bliss. Every family should make respectful decisions based on the specific individuals in their household. I am obsessed with the holiday season, it’s what makes these extreme winters bearable and I can’t wait to celebrate with my family and my adorable son.
I hope you spend your holiday season doing whatever makes you happy regardless if that means watching football, baking pies, or jumping in the snow.