Me. Or self-care, rather. It’s also about strengthening relationships and spending time with family and friends, but mostly it’s about me, haha. I can tell you it WON’T be about moving, home buying, or birthing a baby. 2015 will be quieter. It will be introspective and light, but funny, and fun.
I will allow myself to be more selfish (are you wondering if that is even possible?). All kidding aside, I want to take better care of myself. I’ve felt really frumpy and gross recently and I know that to feel good mentally I need to feel good physically. I’m aware of all the things I should be doing, working out, going on more walks, eating healthier. But I also want to find the time to do my hair and makeup in the mornings. I want to buy and wear quality clothing pieces that fit my new body instead of my old baggy maternity yoga pants. I want to find reasons to get dressed up nicely when I leave the house. I want to like how I look in photographs (don’t we all), and I want to be able to give myself compliments instead of insults.
This is how I looked at Christmas this year and I don’t hate it. In fact, I think I look pretty decent. That said, I am frustrated with my post-pregnancy body. My face still bears the mark of that stupid labor rash, my tummy skin is rounder and looser, and my body is wider in general. My hair is now falling out and appears lifeless and dark so it ends up in a ponytail most of the time, and my skin is weird, rough, and marked. So I will focus on what I can do to make my body softer, smoother, and firmer in the new year.
And another thing, I want to go on more dates with my husband. We rarely take the time to go on fun outings even though we know plenty of people who would be willing to babysit The Wee One. And I want to go more places as a family too, even if that means bundling up The Wee One and braving the frigid winter weather. I want to try new things and experience new places, even if that means disrupting his sleep schedule once in a while.
I want more energy in the day that is not dependent on caffeine and I want more sleep. Oh how I want more sleep! I realize that getting more sleep is not something I have control over right now and I know that one day The Wee One will go back to being an awesome sleeper, but I can’t help but stare at the dark circles under my eyes. I’m actually more embarrassed by them than my muffin top. I feel like they give me away as someone who can’t “handle” life. They are unsightly and make me feel old.
I want to get back on stage. I want to an actor again. I want to get paid for my writing. I want The Scottish to have more time for his hobbies too. I want to teach my son sign language and join a mommy and me music class. I want to paint our basement, redo our bathroom, and decorate our house. I want to start a garden!! WHOA. Got a bit carried away there for a moment. I don’t want to start a garden. I want to want to start a garden. Get it? I want to be someone who wants to grow their own vegetables but in reality doesn’t. 🙂
2015 will be about personal goals, making memories, and enjoying life all while watching our son grow and learn. There is plenty of space in the new year for new endeavors and focusing on joy. Having a child doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself but sometimes it does mean you sit on the back burner for a while. Well, if I have to sit on the back burner, I want to look good doing it.
What do you want to do for yourself in the new year?