I was half watching this show the other day about random life facts when something grabbed my attention. They were explaining how to tell if you’re a jerk or a sweetheart. Well, I thought, I must find out!!
First sign you’re a jerk? You don’t think it’s AT ALL possible that you are one. I was already doing well because it was something I had to contemplate for a minute. Phew!
A jerk is someone who kisses up to those above them (on the work or social life ladder) and looks down on those whom they view as beneath them. This is why bosses might not be able to tell who is being shady and who isn’t, and why someone may get promoted who doesn’t really deserve it.
They also explained how if you view everyone around you in a negative fashion, you are probably a jerk. Jerks tend to think the worst of people, labeling them stupid, boring, lazy, rude, or pathetic. Sweethearts tend to notice the positives in others, finding co-workers and friends to be resourceful, kind, funny, talented, or smart. Very interesting! And very enlightening.
I discovered I’m a jerk while driving. As terrible as it sounds when I’m driving I end up hating the other drivers and I get super annoyed if someone is driving too fast or too slow. I assume those around me have malicious intent when they forget their blinker or they change their mind last-minute to cut in front of me. Basically, I get road rage very easily and it’s a problem.
This is why The Scottish does most of our family driving these days. Here’s a throwback to us in Scotland in 2012. I’m so much nicer in the passenger’s seat!
I’m also a jerk while shopping. *sigh* Truth be told, sometimes I become inappropriately frustrated with the cashier because they are moving slowly, or I get irrationally angry with the person who has to stand so close to me in line that they are literally breathing down my neck. I hate it when folks stand in the middle of the aisle and I can’t get around them with my cart because they won’t move to one side or the other! ARGH! I’m becoming a jerk right now just thinking about it! Let’s change the subject.
After sharing all of that you probably won’t believe this but I’m actually a sweetheart most of the time. If you don’t believe me, ask my mom!! 🙂 All kidding aside, I find it easy to think positively of others in a work setting, in a classroom setting, or with family and friends. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt whether I know them personally or online (hey blogger friends!). And I have friends from all different areas of my life because I can get along with many different personality types.
Being a sweetheart isn’t just about being nice, or being kind and respectful, it’s also about laughter and silliness. In case you can’t tell from this blog, I take myself very lightly and I’m the first one to make fun of my dramatic antics. I find that jerks seem to have a weak sense of humor and difficulty laughing at themselves.
Admittedly, I need to work on being better with small talk and being kinder to strangers. The other day this mom with her baby strapped to her chest, asked me to have lunch with her at the mall. I was completely out of my comfort zone but I’m happy to say I said yes! We chatted, and enjoyed friendly conversation. She shared A LOT about her life, perhaps too much (says the over-sharing relationship blogger) but it was pleasant. In the end, it wasn’t a major mommy friend connection, but it was a good experience. 🙂
Are you able to pinpoint the places where you are a jerk or a sweetheart? Do you know someone at work who is a total jerk??