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Dear Wee One,

You won’t remember the 19 months it was you, me, and Daddy, but I will.  You will only know life with a younger brother in it, but I will remember all the moments we had as a family of three, and the days we spent just the two of us.

July 22, 2014, you made me a mother with your entrance into this world after a looooong labor and 2.5 hours of pushing.  It was painful but one of the best things to ever happen to me.

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You were a typical newborn, and those early days were filled with cuddling, sleeping, and nursing on repeat.  I struggled in for months in pain due to a thrush infection but you were the one who got me through it.  You were a good sleeper in those days.  You transitioned to your crib shortly after 2 months because we were afraid your head was getting flat.  It was, but it rounded out nicely.  I love kissing your sweet-smelling, round head and fuzzy blonde hair to this day.

Your Dad and I liked to think of you as a laid-back but passionate guy.  You were a go-with-the-flow, smiley baby but when you got upset, you got UPSET.  The only thing that calmed you down was bouncing you on mommy’s yoga ball.  In fact, that was where I first heard you giggle.  I made myself sick jumping so fast the rest of the day trying desperately to hear you laugh again.

We only had one car in your first 9 months of life and Daddy used it go to work so I spent a lot of time on the couch holding you.  It felt exhausting in a weird way at the time but that’s because it was all so new to me.  In hindsight, it was pretty amazing.  Nursing you around the clock, changing diaper after diaper, rocking you, swaddling you, and of course watching daytime TV to pass the time.  🙂

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You got your first two teeth at 5 months old and sat up around 6 months.  We tried baby led weaning but you had a bad gag reflex and preferred purees for a long time.  Once you started eating solids, you didn’t stop!  You ate more than almost every other kiddo your age, but you always stayed at an average weight with an above average height.  You have Mommy’s love of food and Daddy’s metabolism, you are one lucky kid.

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You and I loved to be busy and we had fun wherever we went together.  This included play dates, library story times, the zoo, the Mall of America, Children’s Museum and more.  We took classes together from a New Mama Class when you were just a tiny guy to gymnastics after you turned a year old.

Music class wins for your favorite class so far!  You love to sing, dance, and play with instruments. You love watching the other children, you love your teachers and interacting with other adults.  You have always been quite the charmer.

You started crawling late, around 10 months, but only because you were always watching and absorbing the world around you.  People would comment on your obvious curiosity.  You began walking around 13.5 months (the average age according to Pediatricians).  You started running a few months later!  And this began your love of being chased.

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Everyone, and I mean everyone, thinks you are your Daddy’s exact mini-me but I like to think you look a little like me too.  Your smile was and is heart-melting and you have the cutest face ever.  Your voice has always been a bit deep and raspy, even for a baby.  You love to babble and we’re still waiting on your big language explosion but we LOVE hearing the new words you timidly share with us these days waiting for our over-the-top reaction.  “Up, down, done, hot, and oops” are your most used words currently.

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You are incredibly helpful and can’t wait to unload the dishwasher and fold laundry.  Seriously, you love “helping” with chores so I’m enjoying that while it lasts.  You love trains, cars, throwing balls, cuddling with McKenna, and dancing.  You WERE a great napper until 15 months old and then it went downhill.  You’ve also become more defiant and emotional and dare I say a difficult toddler at times but at the same time you are more fun, attentive, playful, and sweet.  I’ll take it all.

We’ve been trying to prepare you for baby brother’s entrance by taking weekly bump photos together, talking about him, including you in the preparation of his nursery, and pointing to my belly, saying “Hi Baby Brother!”  Now you like to kiss my belly and lay your head on it, which is insanely cute.  We even took you to an ultrasound appointment which of course meant little to you but a lot to us.

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It’s amazing how quickly a year and a half has gone.  As they say with raising young children, the days are long but the years are fast.  I consider myself incredibly blessed to be able to stay home with you and even when it’s tough it’s worth it.

Like I tell you before bed every night, You are the best thing in my world.  There is no way to describe how I feel about you or how much I love because there isn’t a strong enough word out there.  I know you’re going to continue to amaze me as you grow up and that it will only get harder in some ways but even better in others.

Some times I dream about the days when you were my tiny baby because I miss snuggling you for hours but I love who you are now and I refuse to wish for the past or the future for fear of missing anything that happens in this moment.

 

You are my first-born, you changed my life, you made me a mother, you guided me through a crazy but fulfilling time and I will always, always love you.  You represent the absolute best parts of my life and soon your little brother will too.  I’m so happy to call you my son.

Love,

Mom

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10 Responses to “To My First Born”

  1. Kelly G

    See and I thought when he was born he looked JUST like YOU! What a sweet tribute to your baby boy. He will be an awesome big brother!

    Reply
  2. Anita

    Crying at my desk at work. Beautiful and I’m sure he will treasure this letter as he gets older.

    Reply
  3. Jenn

    Yep, definitely crying. That was written so sweetly, I loved it. I’ll have to remember to write a letter like that to my daughter and put it in her baby book.

    Reply
    • Stephanie

      🙂 Aww, thanks so much! Yes, definitely do one for your daughter. I forget so quickly, it’s nice to have a quick synopsis of his first year and a half.

      Reply

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