I finally found time for a quick check-in so I could update you all on how we’re doing as a family of four (five with McKenna!).
Umm, life is tough! The first two weeks after The Wee Two was born were a total blur of doctor visits, nursing, attempting to sleep (The Scottish and I took turns on the couch at first), and moments of “What have we gotten ourselves into?” The third and fourth weeks got even worse at least for me. After The Scottish went back to work and The Mother went back to school after helping me on her spring break, I was suddenly alone with two small people who needed me in such different ways. Between sleep deprivation and the postpartum hormone crash, my anxiety was at an all-time high.
In an effort of full disclosure I’ve spent many mornings in tears at the thought of The Scottish leaving me alone to tend to both of them. The baby blues have hit me hard this time and I am probably experiencing some borderline postpartum depression. The days seem to blend together and the loneliness and 24/7 work of a stay at home mom can be so insanely draining. But a few days ago I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel! I know it will get easier (not easy but easier) and I know it is all worth it. My boys are AH-mazing. Seriously, I have such a fantastic toddler and the world’s most adorable baby. But postpartum anxiety and depression are chemical imbalances so even though I can rationalize how wonderful things are, it’s totally different actually feeling that.
I promise I’ll seek help if I need it but for now I am focusing on one day at a time. Type A perfectionist people like myself do NOT enjoy a lack of control in their lives but when you have small children, you really need to embrace the insanity and spontaneity or you’ll go crazy. While I don’t expect my personality to change overnight I’d definitely say I’m trying to let things go. It’s a work in progress.
Me, me, me, huh? What about my cute boys? Sometimes I find myself in tears because I feel SO LUCKY they are mine. I’m so blessed I get to spend so much quality time with them. The Wee One loves to hold and kiss his brother and there has been no jealousy so far. He also does really well playing by himself when I’m nursing the The Wee Two.
My little guy is still sleeping in short chunks unfortunately (2-3 hours at a time, argh) but overall he is a happy baby who loves to look out the window and even enjoys awake time in his swing. Of course he’s a typical infant who loves being held so I’ve been wearing him in my K’tan carrier as much as possible which has been great bonding time for both of us and leaves me hands free to change The Wee One’s diaper or fix his lunch.
Clearly I could go on for days but the sun is shining and it’s time for a family walk! I hope to get back to posting more frequently but I have no idea when that will happen. The little free time I had is almost entirely gone with a newborn in the house. Plus when I do find myself with help or without a kiddo in my arms I’m either cooking (I use that term loosely, haha, more like heating up or preparing food) or cleaning or running errands or collapsing on the couch in total exhaustion in front of the TV.
That said, in the next few weeks I hope to share our amazing newborn photo session as well as The Wee Two’s one month photos. I simultaneously can’t believe it’s already and only been a month. Wow.
Here are some photos from our family’s Easter celebrations this year. The Scottish took a ton of great pictures and I had trouble narrowing them down, but here are a few of my faves. Happy Spring everybody and thanks for all the congratulations after The Wee Two’s birth!!